Contrary to popular belief, puppies don't know everything, but they do know Puppy-Stuff. I consider myself to be smarter than the average pup, so I have undertaken the task of chronicling my life. After acquainting myself with The Cats, I soon learned there are certain rules pertaining to cat-etiquette that I needed to be made aware of...
Rules of Knowing Cats
(...and staying alive)
Rule #1
Never just ASSUME a Cat wants to play with you. Since dogs want to play with everything all of the time, and Cats (with dogs) less than 1% of the time you are probably lucky to have this happen. Hayley's Comet comes around more often.
Never just ASSUME a Cat wants to play with you. Since dogs want to play with everything all of the time, and Cats (with dogs) less than 1% of the time you are probably lucky to have this happen. Hayley's Comet comes around more often.
Rule #2
If a Cat does decide it wants to play, it is to amuse itself. Not you.
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| "I'm NOT lookin' at you Pippin!" |
Rule #3
If you have been away from the kingdom (Cats have kingdoms, dogs don't) for any length of time, displaying any sort of happiness to see the Cat/s on your return is NOT appropriate. This especially includes licking their faces. For some reason Cats don't like Saliva-of-Dog on them.
Rule #4
At meal times, it is inappropriate to rush the Cat Bowls. They don't like having to fight for their food. It goes against their religion. Just be secure in the knowledge you could be first if you wanted to.
Rule #5
Cats tails are Out of Bounds. Unless you thrive on pain. They aren't made of fluffy rawhide, and should definitely not be chewed upon. The Cat will wave it in front of your face on purpose, but don't be fooled. Again, unless you love pain.
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| She quickly forgot her previous fears of the unknown canine intruder... now she just mashes me |
Rule #6
When playing a game of fetch with your favourite chewy throw thing, DON'T pass it to the Cat for a turn. They don't fetch, they don't run for fun, and there's the dog-spit thing.
Rule #7
If - and this is a BIG if - IF you are ever invited by a Cat to sleep in the same basket, (or if you just manage to snuggle quietly in whilst they are nodding away in bird-land) DON'T hog all the room. They can wake, swipe, spit in your face, and make your life miserable in 2.4 seconds.
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